Talk:Author Authority/@comment-5265497-20141031215352/@comment-26210042-20141105071752

Hard Hitting Question Time

"You are in an avalanche and you've been injured. You come to and you realize that your left arm is broken. You can't move it. You've got this huge wall of rock and ice, whatever. And behind it, you've got your right arm, which is for some reason holding on to a knife. And you've got your dick. Your right arm you can kinda struggle out, but you have to let go of the knife. And your dick is just hopelessly stuck, you can't get it out. So, there is a news helicopter that's flying by - that if you could just wave to them with your right arm,you could flag them down and it would take them about three hours to get to you. Now, here's the twist: is there's a very horny Silverback gorilla behind you that is going to butt**** you for all three of those hours on live television as the news broadcasts it until they rescue you. Now your other option, the only other option, is to use the knife that's trapped behind the ice wall to cut off your dick. And you'd just lose it forever, but you can run and make it back just fine, but you have to lose your dick. So, you cut off your dick or do you enjoy three hours of televised gorilla butt****ing?"