User blog:CaptHayfever/Cosmo writers are not known for their cultural literacy.

...which explains why this article (written in summer '08) has such limited scope. The author probably only knew those 4 characters (Superman, Spider-Man, Batman, & the Hulk, for those who don't want to bother reading it), and thus could only make up 4 personality stereotypes. I don't have that limitation, so here's a bunch more stereotypes! Yay!

Who he worships: The Fantastic Four What it reveals: Amongst other things, it reveals a lack of interest in deep characterization (so he probably loves Superman, too). Seriously, it depends on which of the Four he's most interested in. If it's Mr. Fantastic, Reed Richards, he's in the Spidey boat: Responsible, awkward, & intelligent. If it's the Human Torch, Johnny Storm, he's brash, loud, & impulsive. If it's the Thing, Ben Grimm, he wants to be as buff as possible (or he actually pays attention to Grimm's dialogue & wants to be normal). If it's the Invisible Woman, Sue Storm, then he thinks women in spandex are hot. [See? Weak psychological stereotypes are easy! Let's do some more:]

Who he worships: The X-Men What it reveals: Absolutely nothing. The X-Men franchise has more characters than the entire rest of the Marvel catalog combined, most of whom are as different as night & day & dawn & dusk.

Who he worships: The Tick What it reveals: If he's laughing at the Tick, it reveals that he has a sense of humor. If he's laughing with the Tick, it reveals that he's not very bright, but that he doesn't care because he doesn't realize it. He also might think himself nigh-invulnerable, so watch out for that.

Who he worships: The Avatar What it reveals: He has a desire to bring balance to the world by mastering all 4 elements of nature. He also has a desire to tattoo a giant blue arrow on his head.

Who he worships: The Mystery Men What it reveals: He's kinda crazy & might have a death wish, but at least he doesn't mind not being invincible. He's snarky, temperamental, & impulsive.

Who he worships: The Mario Brothers What it reveals: He is not afraid of reptiles, & he has an interest in plumbing. Encourage this part of him; plumbers make good money & set their own hours.

Who he worships: Captain Hammer What it reveals: ....He's probably a lot like Captain Hammer. Avoid unless presented with a situation where super-strength would be extremely helpful. Do not mate with him. Especially not twice, unless you like to do "the freaky stuff."

The article's author had this to say in her defense after several comments called her out: "You guys are right...there are so many other great superheroes out there! However, we wanted to only focus on the four most popular heroes we hear about, especially in pop culture lately." Pfft. If that was the case, why didn't she mention Iron Man or Hellboy? Don't make up weak excuses for weak research.

[This is a repost from my own off-site blog, but since it's relevant to the content of this wiki, I thought you guys might like it.]