User blog comment:Teien/Sangria (Crew member of the Immortal Garden)/@comment-4867780-20150129021707

Looks good Teien ! I'll take some time after Gabriel's last sheet to read through and comment further.

Perhaps the first paragraph would gain from being divided is smaller developments ? Walls of texts are notoriously unattractive, however interesting their content may be. Just a few tweaks would make Sangria's story much easier on the eyes and the mind ;)