11:08 PM
Raoul Wallenberg Forest; Bronx, New York
October 27th, 2007
•••
TW/CW:
Self-Degradation/Self-Deprecation
(Technical) Implications of Self-Mutilation/NSSI (Nonsuicidal Self-Injury)
Excessive Blood
•••
‘You did it, Lupus..you f—king did it.’
That was my very first thought when I finally crawled out of the massive crack and onto white ground, my legs buckling from exhaustion and causing me to fall onto my knees. The thick crimson from my own body gushed out and onto the soft surface underneath me, the scent of it tightening the invisible chokehold I had been feeling for hours now. Shivers then started to shock my entire being, the sensation of the cold air unsettling to experience.
‘The f—k is happening?’ I asked myself within my mind, unable to speak while I was gagging up blood and saliva. ‘Nobody told you the Mortal Realm was this cold! Even the Sloth Ring’s temperature is better than this bulls—t..’
My attempts to stand up were a pathetic failure as I slipped right back onto my hands and knees. Growling loudly, I gripped my horns tightly, my breathing rattling and gurgling as I gagged even louder, my blood practically firing out of my mouth and running down my throat and neck.
‘Do you really deserve your horns?’ I suddenly thought, my mind starting to think again. ‘Look what you did. You don’t deserve them. You don’t deserved s—t. Nobody deserves s—t from you.’
My hands tighten their grip on my horns as I began to tug on them, causing me to growl in pain. I kept tugging, however..and then..it happened..
I ripped my horns clean off. Both of them. Even more blood began to flow down my face as I let out a loud scream of agony, my own nervous system practically punishing myself by shocking my head with intense pain. Gurgled whimpers escaped my mouth as I looked down at my horns, starting to panic.
‘Look what you did, you f—king [REDACTED]!’ I yelled at myself, starting to both growl and whimper. My thoughts were battling each other about what I had just done to myself, preventing me from properly handling the situation. So instead, I tossed my horns far away from me and managed to get onto all fours before bolting forwards, trying to find a safe place where I could regenerate while also leaving behind a scarlet trail.
‘Now you’re leaving a trail behind so people can stalk you! Cadmean, you’re a f—king idiot.’ My mind snarled at me as I kept running, trying to keep myself concise as more and more blood came out from my wounds. ‘No wonder why you were hanged..’
Eventually, however, I couldn’t make it any farther. I fell back onto the ground right next to a river, starting to bleed out. My vision began to black in and out, my surroundings fuzzing and my ears ringing loudly. As I accepted my potential fate, I stared at my bloody hands and had one last thought.
‘You deserve this. Don’t fight it. Let. It. Happen.’
