"anime was a mistake"
― Cactus Lord
"im sick of all this hentai and shit it's a fucking disgrace"
― Cactus Lord on that gay NSFW shit
"fuck you you fucking fuck fuck mister fantastic looking ass"
― Cactus Lord in his battle against Monkey D. Luffy
"absolutely disgusting how the fuck can you even carry those giant saggy milk bags around without your spine snapping in half under the weight like this looks like some deviantart tier shit learn to have some fucking realistic proportions i swear you could form a black hole with that kind of mass it's not even a joke you look like you need to see a physician"
― Cactus Lord on anime women
― Cactus Lord to Bane
Cactus Lord
Cactus Lord
Epithet Cactus Lord, Destroyer of Anime and Manga
Alignment Chaotic Cactus
Race Cactus
Laterality Cactus
Gender Male Cactus
Age ????????????
Birthday Same as the first cactus in existence I guess
Blood Type Cactus Juice
Personal Data
Birthplace The desert




Occupation Cactus
Base of Operations The cactus fields
Family Your mom
Favorite Food Fried Anime Women with salt
Hair Color Cactus
Eye Color Cactus
Height 7"7 (typically)
Weight ???????
Power Cactus
Hobbies Tripping people and making them fall into his spines
Forte in sports Cactus Ball
Weapon Needs none
Fighting style Cactus

Cactus Lord is the most powerful anime character to ever exist, and is on a quest to defeat the rest of the anime using his almighty cactus powers. He firmly believes that anime was a mistake and that it needs to be stopped at all costs. As an anime character himself, he plans to cease his own life once he is done removing the rest of the anime from existence. He is the prime rival to Ahegao Woman.



Cactus Lord is a pretty tall and very handsome man who is 100% cactus all over. He wears a black suit that he makes sure is in perfect condition despite the spines that stick out all over his body. He speaks in a strange fashion, quick and to the point in an angry tone in all low caps.


He possesses a righteous and indomnitable will to remove the anime. He is consistently angered by its presence and, by extention, is consistently angry at himself for being anime.

Cactus Lord loves puppies but will not refuse to kill one if it is anime.




  • Cactus Lord - Cactus Lord is in fact the embodiment of all that is a cactus, and could be said to be the very concept of a cactus itself. As a result of this, he is able to perform a variety of feats.
    • Cactus Running - Cactus can run with the combined energy of all cacti in all universes where cacti exists, making him infinitely fast.
    • Cactlings - Cactus Lord will not hesatate to grow an infinite army of minions to swarm an anime with. This method of anime removal has never failed. The cactlings will follow a desired target regardless of the distance between the target and the army. Wherever the anime goes, the cactlings will be around the corner ready to remove the anime.
  • Anime Fighter - Cactus Lord can defeat any anime character simply by beating the shit out of them with his bare fists. There is no anime that can defeat him or permanently put him down as a result of this.
  • Cactushifting - Cactus Lord is able to change his shape into any form he desires as long as it is a cactus. He uses this to take the form of a man with cactus-like features.
  • Desert Bus - When Cactus Lord approaches a filthy anime, he turns the entire enviroment into a desert to signify his presence. He is then able to manipulate everything in the desert to his will, including the sand and native animals.
  • Magic Negation - Cactus Lord can negate and be immune to magical power regardless of level. Any magic used within his range will instead cause the original intended effect to be changed; the change being that a small cactus will appear in front of the magic user instead of the effect to occur. This will happen regardless of how the magic works or how it is used.
  • Peak Cactus Endurance - Cactus Lord can withstand massive amounts of punishment, brushing away planet busting attacks without a scratch at his weakest. He has conditioned himself to survive in the void of space.
  • Thot Immunity - He is completely immune to the wiles and false charms of deformed anime women with impossibly large features. In his words, they are all "thots".


  • None. No anime shall stand in his path.


  • His current wins include as follows:
    • Son Goku
    • Monkey D. Luffy
    • Naruto Uzumaki
    • Guts
    • Kenshiro
    • All Might
    • Medaka Kurokami
    • Josuke Higashikata (JoJolion)
    • Spike Spiegel
    • Giorno Giovanna (w/ Gold Experience Requiem)
    • Billy Mays
    • Superman
    • Tom
    • Jerry
    • Ash Ketchum
    • Red (Origins)
    • Red (Pocket Monsters)
    • Red (Adventures)
    • Shrek
    • Cory Baxter
    • Filthy Frank
    • Birdy Cephon Altera
    • Jonathan Joestar
    • Ajimu Naijimi
    • Every single fucking Titan
    • Arale
    • Spock
    • The Rock
    • Doc Ock
    • Hulk Hogan
    • Waldo
    • Dio Brando
    • SCP-3999
    • The Fifth Doctor
    • Azathoth
    • Every character that originally appeared in a hentai
    • Pennywise (1986)
    • Pennywise (1990)
    • Pennywise (2017)
    • Jimi Hendrix
    • Phil
    • Jack
    • Tito "Dickman" Dick
    • Horat
    • Commissioner Jim Gordon
    • Downplayed Darth Vader (no sand)
    • The letter h
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